My dreams changed.

I spent the day with my cousin and her children. It felt nice to interact with them, I missed them so much and it was wonderful to see them. Justin is so big and so smart, at first I thought he would be part of the streets like his mother. But I see hope in his eyes now, he is beautiful on the inside and out. I feel so bad that he was played the cards of life that he was given. That's what life is all about though. I played with him today in the jungle gym and it was quite nice to do so with a kid I once didn't like. Jamar is stuck to his mother's hip and seems like he will do whatever his mom wants or tells him to. Which isn't the best influence in his life. I also played with him although it was for a brief moment. Jessica is big but it seems she still has the same mindset as she did a couple of years ago. She's eight years old and her main concern is being a second parent for her brothers. Her mother uses her as a maid and it's disturbing how her education is being shot out the door along with her future. While playing with all three of them I realized how I may want kids in the future. I always thought about it but never imagined it. While I played with them I could also see myself doing that in the future. I could actually see myself as a mom today and it felt nice. Of course I have to get married before but it was just a nice concept to dream of. The thing is I know what I want my life to be like. I would like to be a missioranie and preach God's kingdom message where the need is greater. I know I'm far from that spiritual goal but it's still worth something dreaming about that's why I never thought about having a family. I'm not sure but I know whatever happens Jehovah will bless my efforts to serve him and hopefully I can have everything I Dream about one day. Doing his will I know it's not impossible. One day though if I can I want to change their lives, give them something better than what they have know, this I have to do.